


Pack Bonding via Chatroom

by DarligUlv



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, I Don't Even Know, about dumb stuff, basically nonsense, the pack has strong feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-31 02:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3961585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarligUlv/pseuds/DarligUlv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles creates a group chat to talk about non-werewolfy things.<br/>Chatroom Names<br/>Batman - Stiles<br/>ButterScott - Scott<br/>Merida - Allison<br/>Oliver - Isaac<br/>Cheshire Catwoman - Erica<br/>Baymax- Boyd<br/>Khaleesi - Lydia<br/>Bestosterone - Jackson<br/>iZombie - Peter<br/>Eeyore - Derek</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been suffering from serious writing syndrome and wanted to write something ridiculous.

Batman: Alright guys! Welcome to the first official pack chat!

Merida: Yay!

Bestosterone: Lame

Batman: Thank you, Ally. Shut your mouth Jackson. And what the hell is up with that name? 

Khaleesi: He couldn't think of a good one, so I did. Fitting right?

Batman: Abso-fucking-lutely. XD

Bestosterone:...

iZombie: How long is this going to last, Stiles?

Batman: Until I say so. 

iZombie: Very mature. 

Batman: Your face is mature.

Oliver: It actually is so that doesn't really count as a diss Stiles.

Bestosterone: Who the hell is Oliver?

Oliver: I'm Isaac.

Batman: Oh

Bestosterone: Oh

Khaleesi: Why 'Oliver'?

Oliver: ...Oliver and Company is my favorite movie.

Merida: Aaawww

Batman: Aaaawww

Cheshire Catwoman: Dddaaawwww 

Oliver: Okay, okay shut up

iZombie: (I bet he's blushing)

ButterScott: He is

Oliver: Traitor

Cheshire Catwoman: ButterScott? Really?

Batman: Bro fist through the computer, bro. That was a kick ass pun

ButterScott: :D

[Baymax enters the chatroom. Eeyore enters the chatroom]

Oliver: I didn't know you were a Big Hero 6 fan, Derek.

Eeyore: I'm not.

Batman: OH

Merida: Pffft

Khaleesi: HAA!

Bestosterone: HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

Batman: MY

Cheshire Catwoman: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Eeyore:...

Batman: GOD. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

Eeyore: Shut up, Stiles.

[Eeyore leaves the chatroom]

Batman: What? Nooo, Derek come back!

iZombie: (He's totally sulking, isn't he Boyd?)

Baymax: Yup.

Batman: Boyd tell him to come back and that we're done laughing!

Baymax: He left.

Khaleesi: I can bet where he went.

Oliver: Uh oh

Baymax: Rest in pieces, Stiles.

ButterScott: You're screwed buddy.

Batman: Wait why me???

iZombie: I hope your window is locked. (Not that that'll stop him...)

Cheshire Catwoman: Allison and I will start planning your funeral. 

Merida: Do you want roses or lilies?

Batman: JFDILDFGIR AZIDEOHUFFUFEUEU

Oliver: ???

ButterScott: STILES???

Batman: Eeyore is a sophisticated character that should be a role model for all because he represents real life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles creates a group chat to talk about non-werewolfy things.  
> Chatroom Names  
> Batman - Stiles  
> ButterScott - Scott  
> Merida - Allison  
> Oliver - Isaac  
> Cheshire Catwoman - Erica  
> Baymax- Boyd  
> Khaleesi - Lydia  
> Bestosterone - Jackson  
> iZombie - Peter  
> Eeyore - Derek  
> TechnoBro - Danny

Bestosterone: Guys I think we should tell Danny about us

Eeyore: No.

Bestosterone: Jesus, Derek, would you at least let me explain why?

Eeyore: No.

Batman: Why?

ButterScott: Let him explain Derek pls

iZombie: Why?

Bestosterone: He's really smart and he could help with research and stuff

Baymax: True

Khaleesi: I agree. 

Eeyore: So what? You want me to turn him?

Bestosterone: NO!

Batman: Jesus, Derek you're like herpes. You don't have to touch everyone. 

Merida: lol

iZombies: LOL

Eeyore: We don't need another non-supernatural knowing about us. 

Cheshire Catwoman: But Danny could really help us out with legal stuff

Oliver: You mean bypassing legal stuff

Cheshire Catwoman: Same dif

iZombie: It would be nice to have a hacker on our side.

Eeyore: No.

[0001100011000111101]

Cheshire Catwoman: What the fuck is that?

Bestosterone: What the fuck is that?

Oliver: Same??

Merida: Stiles is the chat glitching?

Batman: It shouldn't be 

[0010101010]

Bestosterone: Leave it to Stiles to get the most screwed up chatroom

Batman: Hey!

TechnoBro: Jackson?!

Bestosterone: ??? Who the hell are you?

TechnoBro: ....

TechnoBro: It's Danny.

Eeyore: What.

iZombie: LOL

Oliver: Omg

ButterScott: Omg

Cheshire Cat: How the hell did you get in here? I thought it was password protected! Stiles?

Batman: It is!

Khaleesi: Is no one going to comment on how Danny recognized Jackson through his snark?

Merida: xD

Eeyore: Danny how did you enter this chatroom?

TechnoBro: I was just brushing up on my skill on my computer and saw this in my history and wanted to check it out. 

Eeyore: Bullshit

Cheshire Cat: Same. Worst stalking excuse ever

TechnoBro: I wasn't stalking!

ButterScott: You totally were bro.

Baymax: Not cool dude

Batman: Sorry dude, but that's what it looks like

Bestosterone: He wasn't stalking us...

iZombie: (And the truth is revealed~)

Bestosterone: Shut up Peter.

Eeyore: Jackson. Explain. 

Bestosterone: ...I was using Danny's computer earlier

Eeyore: Ffs

TechnoBro: So um...Werewolves huh?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chatroom Names  
> Recurring Characters  
> Batman - Stiles  
> ButterScott - Scott  
> Merida - Allison  
> Oliver - Isaac  
> Cheshire Catwoman - Erica  
> Baymax- Boyd  
> Khaleesi - Lydia  
> Bestosterone - Jackson  
> iZombie - Peter  
> Eeyore - Derek
> 
> Special Guests  
> TechnoBro - Danny  
> Pikachu - Kira (coming soon to theaters near you)

Baymax: So...Are we just not going to talk about it?

Bestosterone: No.

Oliver: Never.

Batman: There's nothing to talk about. 

iZombie: Yes, everyone knows denial is the best way to go about life. No horrible tragedies caused by that discourse at all, not even once. Nope. Nada.

Batman: SHUT UP PETER

Bestosterone: Shut your mouth old man. 

iZombie: I am BARELY forty!

Eeyore: You're almost fifty...

Oliver: O.O

ButterScott: OMG seriously?

Cheshire Catwoman: What? How old is he for real?

iZombie: Has anyone ever told you, that you talk too much, dear nephew?

Eeyore: 48

Merida: D: You're older than my dad...

[iZombie has left the chat.]

Khaleesi: Who would have thought that the way to get Peter to shut up would be to induce a mid life crisis. Huh. Stiles add that to the bestiary. 

Batman: Right away, Mhysa.

Oliver: Who's Mhysa?

Cheshire Catwoman: You've never seen Game of Thrones?

Oliver: It's in my queue. 

Batman: Well it needs to be at the top, like right now! Log off and watch it now, Isaac! NOOWW!

Baymax: NO! Nobody is logging off before we talk about IT.

ButterScott: NOOOO

Merida: I wouldn't mind talking about it...

Cheshire Catwoman: Same.

Khaleesi: NO

Batman: Derek tell Boyd to lay off!

Baymax: D:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued in the next chapter DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman - Stiles  
> ButterScott - Scott  
> Merida - Allison  
> Oliver - Isaac  
> Cheshire Catwoman - Erica  
> Baymax- Boyd  
> Khaleesi - Lydia  
> Bestosterone - Jackson  
> iZombie - Peter  
> Eeyore - Derek  
> 

Eeyore: Boyd and I have been discussing things, and I think it would be best to talk about what happened.

Batman: Cool co-cool. Your opinion has been noted and placed in the queue to be revisited at a later time. 

Khaleesi: Like in five years when we're too stressed about our careers to care about it.

Eeyore: Correction. We're going to talk about it, and that's an order.

Batman: You can't use your alpha voice on us over the internet, Derek!! 

iZombie: No, but he can still get over to your house within minutes.

Eeyore: ^

Batman: FIIIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEE

Baymax: :D

Bestosterone: Goddamn psych wannabe. 

Merida: Don't be a butt Jackson, Boyd just wants to help. 

Baymax: Thnx Allison :3

Merida: :)

Khaleesi: Okay, enough. You guys want us to talk about it? Let's stop pussyfooting around and talk about it!

Oliver: Pussyfooting...?

Cheshire Catwoman: It means stop beating around the bush.

Eeyore: Get back on track guys.

iZombie: Since I've only heard snippets of what happened, can I get a recap?

Khaleesi: ...

Bestosterone: ...

Eeyore: Really, guys?

Batman: Fine! Let me paint a picture for you: It was a beautiful afternoon in the school cafeteria and Scott was working up the nerve to ask Kira out--Oh Kira is

Eeyore: The Kitsune

iZombie: The Kitsune, we know.

Batman: EHEM. I'd like to tell the story with no interruptions please. 

Eeyore: Sorry.

Batman: ANYWAY. Kira was loading her plate up with like every piece of fruit that's offered at the cafeteria, which I don't think is a kitsune thing so that was weird. I mean it was kind of crazy, like she had fruit on her tray that I didn't know where in season yet--

Bestosterone: OH. MY. GOD. JUST SAY IT. SCOTT PUKED ON KIRA. 

Eeyore: ????

Batman: JACKSON!!! I was gonna get to that eventually, you dick!

iZombie: My god, really?! How? Werewolves--even turned ones, don't get sick.

ButterScott: I was nervous...

Eeyore: Okay...So you puked on somebody, that's not that bad. 

Khaleesi: That's not the whole story. Everyone knows Allison is a sympathetic vomiter, but when she saw she was making out with Isaac

iZombie: D:

Eeyore: Oh no

Oliver: T_T Then I puked all over my favorite scarf.

Cheshire Catwoman: Seeing Allison puke in Isaac's mouth made me sick and I puked on the floor right when Stiles was running to get paper towels

Batman: AND I SLIPPED IN HER GODDAMN PUKE. FACE. FUCKING. DOWN. And then....Boyd, who was standing directly above me...

iZombie: Good lord.

Eeyore: Oh shit.

Baymax: Sorry again...D:

Batman: Showered me with a waterfall of vomit, so obviously, faced with those circumstances, I also puked but that day the cafeteria served spaghetti along with it's obscene amount of fruit

Eeyore: I don't think we need to hear anymore. 

Bestosterone: IF I HAD TO SUFFER SO DO YOU. THE PUKE WAS GROSS AND STRINGY AND THERE WAS A HALF CHEWED MEATBALL BECAUSE STILES IS A FUCKING SAVAGE WHO DOESN'T CHEW HIS FUCKING FOOD

Batman: I'M A SAVAGE? YOU PUKED ON YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND'S HEAD LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL.

Khaleesi: ...

Bestosterone: Baby, I said I was sorry. 

Khaleesi: By the time I got home, your vomit had dried in my hair and when I was cleaning it, I found some...spaghetti wrapped around my fucking ear like a goddamn hipster accessory!

[Eeyore has left the chatroom]

Batman: Wtf?

ButterScott: Derek?!

iZombie: It seems that was a tad too graphic for my dear nephew.

Oliver: Is he puking???

iZombie: Yup.

Baymax: Well anyway, now that we've talked about it, we all feel better right? :)

Khaleesi: NO!

Batman: NO

Bestosterone: FUCK YOU BOYD


End file.
